Sugar Rush Extreme
by Rinas
Summary: Mithos is back thanks to some cursed gum from the Balacruf Dynasty. His target? To take over Klonoa's Chocolate Factory, and destroy Lloyd and crew! [Permahiatus?]
1. Mithos Awakens!

Yo! This is my first fic, so ignore any mistakes I make. It's this crappy editor, and possibly me myself. Uh...yeah... So I thought just lijke many others "what happens next?" Well I had the whole sugar demon thing ibn my head AND Willy Wonka, so I thought "Why not?" Here is what I came up with. It may be a while before the next chapter is submitted or not, I dunno. I have alot of stuff planned, it's just the matter of typing it all.

Well anyway, read and review!

Sugar Rush Extreme

Chapter 1: Mithos Awakens!

In Asgard, there were 4 little kids who were playing hide and seek. Inside an abandone building was a boy named Pete. He was the so called "master" of hide and seek. Of, he was also known as a retard, just like the other 3 kids. It had been 1 year after the defeat of Mithos, and Pete was STILL hiding in the same spot. It had only occured to him a couple of months earlier that mabye they weren't supposed to hide inside, and had spent this whole time putting two and two together.

Now the idiot had finally figured it out. He was about to leave when he saw a button on the wall. Examining it more closely, Curious Pete pressed it, and surprise surprise it had opened up a secret passageway! Pete stepped foward and explored the depths of a corridor built into the mountain.

"Oo... I feel like Indiana Jones!"

Unfortunately for the little rascal, his adventure didn't last very long because the corridor didn't have any traps or such. In the end, he reached a small circular room. In the middle was a stand with a stick of gum that seemed to be glowing.

Hungry as Pete was, he took it and chewed on it. Then he felt strange... like that time when he was in front of a urinal where city hall was on fire, and he couldn't save it because not enough "water" would come out. By the time he realised he had clothes pinned his penis, it was too late. Then, his body started to shake and he was all sweaty. before he realized it, he was emitting a red light, and his body was transforming! He was...Mithos!

"BWAHAHAHA! I LIVE!" Mithos' maniacle laughter could be heard ringing throughout the village.

"And now.." he smirked, "The first thing I shall do is get revenge on those who killed me!"

* * *

"Pete? P-Pete? Mom told me to give you your pills for treating A.D.H.D., but I-I can't f-find you!" 

The little girl was about to break down crying, when some 12 year old-looking kid with angel wings busted through the door in front of her and flew off towards the sky.

"HAHAHA!" Mithos shouted. "Now, where is closest? With that, he went off to Altimira, which was placed around that area in the ocean, seeing as alot of places had been rearranged since the worlds were united.

* * *

Regal was in the President's office. He was looking through the headline on the newspaper, which was an announcement of the Klonoa's Platimum Ticket Contest.

Nearly 1 year ago, George had made the mistake of mixing up licorice with laxatives, and ate up the whole box. He was in such a bad shape, he couldn't run the company for a while. Just when the Lenzarno company was going to go out of business, that's when the duke himself came back- that was when Regal stepped in.

Regal Bryant, founder of Lenzarno Company, now free of handcuffs, brought the company back on it's knees, but it still was not it's former glory. In a meeting, Presea, Regal's partner and Vice President suggested making a slight accomodation to the company's branch departments. They got rid of the licorice factory, and replaced it with a chocolate factory. And to appeal to most crowds, they had the representitive of it the mascot of Altimira, Klonoa, who became later known as Combatir Klonoa because hey, this IS Presea, and so that she can actually talk.

The chocolate factory was a huge success, which earned millions for it's famous, one-of-a kind chocolate. And really, this girl came up with a new idea every week! How she does it, no one knows. Now that Klonoa's candy was so well known, everyone just wanted to know what it's like in the factory, which is probably chocolate heaven. So they held a contest. Right now, Regal was reading a notice that Combatir Klonoa herself had made, which went like this:

**KLONOA FACTORY TO BE OPENED TO LUCKY FEW**

_Combatir Klonoa, the candy making genius whom nobody has seen for the last few months, sent out the following notice today:_

I, Combatir Klonoa, have decided to allow five children-just five, mind you, and no more- to visit my factory  
this year.Woo-hoo! These lucky five, klonoa, will be shown around personally by me,and they will be allowed to  
see all the secrets and magic of my factory. Then, at the end of the tour, as a special present, all of them will be given  
enough chocolates and candies to last them for the rest of their lives! Loople-doo! So watch out for the Platimum Tickets!  
Five Platimum Tickets have been printed on platimum paper, and these five Platimum Tickets have been hidden underneath the ordinary wrapping paper of five ordinary candy bars. Klonoa! These five candy bars may be anywhere- in any shop in any street in any town in all of Symphonia- upon any counter in which Klonoa's candies are sold. And the five lucky finders of these five Platimum Tickets are the only ones who will be allowed to visit my factory and see what it's like now inside!  
Good luck to you all, and happy hunting! Woo-hoo! (Signed Combatir Klonoa)

Regal leaned back. "Heh. This is grand. Just imagine what will happen now! The whole world will be searching for those tickets! Everyone will be buying Klonoa's candy bars in the hope of finding one! We'll sell more than ever before! This will put Lenzarno on the map!"

Regal smirked at these thoughts. He took out a Klonoa Chocolate Bar-original and opened it. It was an inch from Regal's mouth, but he was interuppted by the noise of people getting beat up from the floors below. Regal shot up from his seat, only to hit his head on a lamp that said "I ♥ homestarrunner." And true it was, he loved it just as much as Simon loved himself, that critic.

Back to the story, Regal went down the elevator into a corridor. Coming down the other end was none other than...

"Mithos!"

"Yes, it is I, Mithos Ygdrassial, here to smite you all!" The half-elven crazed nut cackled triumphantly.

"But how," Regal questioned. " You got SERVED by us!"

"Yes," he started, "but thanks to a mistake in the past, my conscious still lives on, and has manifested a physical form! I am now immortal, because I am evil! I am Mithos!"

Mind you, he said this Mojo Jojo style.

"Ugh, that's it, you INSANE, CRAZED, MENTALLY BLIND, GIRLY, PONTENTIALLY BISEXUAL, STUPID SHRIMP! First you create Cruxis, which brain-washes people into the Church of Martel crap! Then you make branch off the Desians which kill humans and turn survivors into expheres! And now, you burst into my company, Regal Bryant's company, threatening to kill me and all my freinds! I'M GONNA BEAT YOU DOWN TILL IT HURTS YO' 4'000 YEAR OLD MAMA IN HER GRAVE."

Then there is a showdown between Mithos and Regal, with the hallway music from the Matrix playing in the background.  
Mithos uses Judgement, but Regal easily dodges the beams while getting closer to Mithos. He then uses Mirage to sneak behind him and was about to used Rising Dragon, when Mithos teloported behind him. But regal was quick. He turned in mid-air and used Eagle Dive, linked with a Triple Kick.

Mithos recieved all blows and flew backwards, but he used his wings to slow down before he crashed. He landed on the wall, and jumped right back at Regal. That would have been a full lateral if he was a football. His head made contact with Regal and slammed him right in the gut.

"Retribution!" the half-elf cast. Now the duke couldn't use any off his techs. And now, while Regal was down, Mithos cast a miny version of Ray that came out of his hand. Each projectile hit Regal, knocking him out. "Bwahaha! I win!" Mithos picked Regal up with one arm with his angel strength like Collete did once and carried him into the elevator. He pressed the button to the Prisident's office.

"I need sugar, or the spell will wear off..." So went into the office to find something sweet to eat when he saw an opened Klonoa's chocolate bar on the desk. He ate it and to his amazement...

"Damn, this is good:O" He munched on it till he saw a newspaper on the desk. He read the headline. After a minute, he set the paper down and he smirked. "Heh. Platimum Tickets, eh? That will last me about a hundred years. Heck, why don't I just take over the factory?" And so, Mithos went on top of the Sky Terrace and flew away. His goal, to kill those who destroyed him before. But now, he has a new goal in mind: eat as many Klonoa bars as he can, and take over the factory with it!


	2. An Orchestra and Derris Kharlan

Wow... reviews! Hey, thanks guys! No, I wasn't sugar-high. It's not even a condition I have. Of course, my freind does. He's addicted to sugar. Every morning, his cereal is always something made of chocolate, or he eats cinnimon rolls. He loves chocolate, too. I've known him since 1st grade, and whenever I come over to his house, he's never eaten anything remotely close to a proper breakfast except bacon. Well, the whole gum/sugar thing camefrom an episode of Fosters... Welll whatever. Review!

Disclaimer: I didn't do this in the last chapter, so count this for that one, too! I don't own Tales of Symphonia!

In Minneapolis, MN, July 9, at Orchestra Hall, Minnesota Orchestra there were two girls. They were Collete Brunel and Sheena Fujibayashi, who were listening to the More Freinds people play Final Fantasy music. 

Collete had went on with Lloyd to collect all the expheres left, but then she kept screwing everything up because, well...she was a klutz. So went and asked Sheena for help, to train her to be more coordinated with basic ninja skills. After some convincing, which involved jousts, she gave in. Now Collete didn't fall! As much as before, anyway. There was a scene last week where she triped on top of Paris Hilton who was randomly used in this fic and the scene didn't look right.

Outside, Mithos had flew down from the sky. His angel senses told him that two of _them_ were here. He was going to force himself right in before he spotted Kratos and Yuan were trying to get into Orchestra Hall, but a guard wouldn't let them.

"No tickets, no admission."

"But you let the other two girls in even though THEY didn't have tickets!"

"Ahyuck," the guard chuckled stupidly. "That's because they reminded me of those two girls from the Simple Life."

"WHAT!" roared Kratos.

"Well then just so you know," Yuan retorted, " I'm is Tom Cruise! And just so you know, stars get free admission. So you better watch out before I sue your mouth shut like Oogie Boogie!"

"Eep! W-well, Mr. Cruise, I'm sorry to have aggravated you so thoroughly because of my ignorance..."

The guard, who idiotically thought Tom Cruise had died his hair blue, let Yuan through.

"Well," said the sly Renegade leader, " all that time watching E! paid off..."

Kratos, meanwhile, was cursing about Yuan under his breath.

"LET ME THROUGH!"

"Sorry, no can do. Your not a star whos agent we can draw money from."

"Well... THINK OF THE CHILDREN!"

"Sorry sir. And don't even mention anything that makres me think of Star Wars. GRRRR!"

Kratos was starting to get annoyed. "Dude, what's your problem."

Then some random woman came up to him and said,"It's simple. He hates british people."

Kratos was taken aback. "What? Why?"

"It's simple," the woman answered. "He hates them because they support half-elves."

"Hm... well, it would seem that you need a trip to Genis Sage."

"Who?" questioned the guard.

"Why," the woman was surprised, "why, you've never heard of Dr. Genis Virginia Sage?"

"Once again, who?"

"A famous boy, that lad is. He travels the world, binging people to the light, and end the discrimination against half-elves. And he does it non-violently, unlike that Mental X character. Why, they've burned his house, bombed motels he stays in, and even tried to stab him in one attempt, but he keeps on. One day, someone even tried to shoot him with a crossbow while he was on the balcony of the inn in Luin, but even though he blocked it with some magic whahosawhat, he never struck for avengance. Tommorow, he's holding a speech at Palmacosta! You should attend, Mr. Guard. He's got healing hands t the heart, I tell you!"

Now the guard was breaking down crying. He was definately going to attend now.

"Palmacosta, eh... So that's where Genis is going. I'll probably find his Raine there, too..."

Mr. Aurion turned around to find Mithos staring at him with an obnoxious smirk on his face.

"Mithos! What... oh. So...somebody ate the gum?"

"Yes... so now, I think I'm going to take revenge on you for betraying me!"

"Hmph. Serves you right for going insane over half-elf discrimination forming Cruxis which eventually captured my wife and forcing her to face hard labor and torture and in the end turning her into a big green monster thing that looks like the wall shadow monster from Yu-gi-oh! in which she hit Noishe making him the cowardly protozoan he is today and knocking my own son along with him off a cliff forcing me to kill her!"

Kratos was blue in the face by the time he finished and took a long, deep breath. Mithos, however, was impatient and simply walked up to him and squeezed his shoulder, knocking him out for thirty minutes.

"Yees! I now have Kratos! Next up: that ninja girl and that stupid Chosen of Sylvarant!"

So Mithos went inside, blowing up the guard cruelty style, and went on.

He saw Sheena go into the woman's restroom. Mithos followed her, and since he looked like a girl anyway, nobody everyone thought he was one and he made it in without being pelted repeatedly. He hid behind the stall door, and when Sheena came out he snuck up behind her, knocked her out, and dragged her out Sam Fisher style. Of course, the experiance of going into the woman's restroom for the first time ever made him forget all about Collete.

Collete, meanwhile, wondered what was taking Sheena so long. Incidentally, Yuan saw Collete. He wondered what was up and followed her. Collete came just in time to see Mithos dragging Sheena away. She followed, and Yuan was right behind her. She followed Mithos, in which most passerby never even noticed for some stupid reason, and watched as he picked up Kratos who was on the ground, and Regal who was hidden behind a collection of plants. he was carrying them, wondering why they were so heavy, until something shiny from Kraytos' pocket dropped on the ground.

"Grr... inferior obese beings...hmm? What's this?"

Mithos examined what was on the ground, and found them to be car keys. He pressed the button for the car to unlock, and an escilade near them lit up.

"Alright!" Mithos cheered. "Now I don't have to go around chugging these fools with me all day long!"

He opened up the door, and very overwrought about the new transportation, stuffed them in the back seat. Collete saw everything and got out her chakrams. The exact moment she was about to strike, Mithos saw a red button on the side of the dashboard. Curious, he pressed it, and the Escilade disappeared!

"Huh? Where'd they go?" Collete was confused and very, very disoriented at the moment.

"I'll answer that."

Collete turned around to find that the owner of the voice was Yuan.

"Oh! Mr. Yuan! How are you:D"

"Not good, Chosen. Now look, Mithos-"

"Oh yeah, how did Mithos come back?"

"I'm getting to that" Yuan replied, annoyed mind you." As I was saying, Mithos is most likely trying to get revenge on all of you, as you can see. As for how he got back, someone probably chewed the gum..."

"Gum?"

Meanwhile...

Mithos was getting sick. He was going at a great speed to wherever they were going and started to get a little dizzy. Then there was a big flash of light.

"AAAAAAAHHHHHH! MY EYES!"

As soon as his eyes were better, he opened them, and from what he could see...

"I'm on Derris Kharlan! I see...so this is how Kratos got back on Symphonia. This is just perfect. This will now be my base of operations! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!" Lightning flashed in the background as he laughed, which is strange seeing as Derris Kharlan didn't have clouds.

To Be Continued!


	3. The Untold Story of Gum

Hey everyone! Sorry I haven't updated in a while, but I've had I busy weekend. To make it up, I put a little more effort than usual in. This is also here to clear things up, and is the longest chapter yet. I sadly may have to make these a little shorter to save time, but just a little. Thanks for the reviews, MoonCannon, Bane the Mad Demon Slayer, Vocalsama, Luray123456789, and Homocidal-Snowbunnies! Give me reviews, they are encouraging! Anonymous reviews are now welcome, too! So... R&R!

Disclaimer: I do not own Tales of Symphonia, nor anything else that has a copyright. :P If I did, I'd be doing something better right about now.

The Untold(until now) Story of the Gum

Once upon a time, four-thousand years ago...

A group of four were traveling. They consisted of a blonde half-elf kid, his sister, and aurburn haired swordsman, and a guy with a cape. These were Mithos, Martel, Kratos, and Yuan. They were traveling the world on a pilgrimage, trying to get people to accept half-elves. Now they were on their way to the territory of the Balacruf Dynasty to talk to their king.

"So...what are we doing again?" asked Mithos.

"Going to te king of Blacruf territory." answered Martel.

"I thought it was 'Balacruf.'" stated Yuan.

"It is," Kratos answered, "it is, just that kids these days are so stupid."

"W-well... I was being smart when Yuan offered me drugs!

* * *

_Flashback_

At the time, Mithos was wearing propellor cap, thick glasses, and polyestor clothing. Can you say NERD? He was walking down Palmacosta Road, when he saw the latest PDA.

"WOW. It's a iMacrotoft PX model5 PDA! The latest in technology! With new features you can chat with others wirelessly, surf the web, play movies, listen to music with 3 times more space than an iPod, download games, check the temperature, make and recieve calls, scan items, built in dictionary and theseus, translate foreign languages right on the spot, and all before dinner. I have GOT to get one of those"  
A cloaked figure walked up toward Mithos.

"Hey kid... Wanna buy some drugs." While he said this, he showed the inside of his cloak, revealing many illegal items prohibited by the government. "Or how about illegal crack?"

"Uh...none, thanks."

"Oh, but I know you'll love this." The man pointed out to a certain prescription bottle.

"Uh..." Mithos was uncertain. "Isn't that the same stuff that turned Michael Jackson from black to white?"

"Well yeah," the man replied, "but that stuff was too potent. This, however, is much more regulated. Now, it has a different effect on everyone! Check this out. It's mystery medicine!"

The man brought down his hood to reveal...

"Yuan!" Mithos was shocked. Shocked I tell you! His propellor was spinning, the pattern on his shirt jumped somehow like in old cartoons, the thread of his breast pocket holding it together with the shirt unloosened from unknown force.

And so Yuan went poppin' them pills. In 10 seconds flat something was already changing.

Streaks of his jet black hair were turning blue!

"OH NO! OH GOD MY SEXY NATURAL HAIR COLOR IS DISAPPEARING INTO A FAR BETTER PLACE THAN HERE NO WHY ME WHYYYYYYY"

By now his hair had turned completely blue, his mouth bubbling, and by now he gave in and fainted. Mithos just stood there, wondering over what to do. He picked up a stick and started poking Yuan. That didn't work, so the (formally) sane half-elf dragged him over to the alley and stuffed him inside a trash can and tried to put on the lid. Yuan's legs were showing and everything, but it was good enough. Mithos looked around shiftily and ran.

Five minutes later some poor people came up to the trash can.

"Look! Something new to eat! I'm eating it!"

"No you can't. We're on Atkins, remember?"

"Aw okay..."

So they each got some thrown away leftovers.

"Hey, how many times have I told you not to lick your plate? You can get cancer that way y'know."

_End Flashback_

* * *

Now, the four had finally reached (Old) Asgard and were requesting an audiance with King Spock. Mithos could not help but burst out in laughter. 

"HA HA HA! Spock? From Star Trek? HA."

Silence, fool!" The king sat up from his throne. " I challenge you to a duel!"

Mithos was estatic. "Oh, cool! My **Exodia Necross** will blow you away..."

"Not that kind you foolish bastard," the guard said. " A fight with weapons."

The grin that was on Mithos' face earlier had then erased from history.

"Oh crap."

The king couldn't wait for a set time and such, so he picked up a harpoon and jumped down to meet the his foe.

"Stupis half-elf! You shall die!"

Mithos pulled out a metal stud from his utility belt. He pressed a button and it widdened into an iron bar. And so a clash of titans began...

"Leave it to Mithos to screw things up," sighed Martel.

As the battle raged on, both evenly matched opponents were tired. It looked like no one would win until Mithos tripped over a convieniently placed coffee cup and as a result was now hanging onto the cliff for dear life hanging over a deep chasm.

"AHHH HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Please spare me! Here, I'll give you my last Rolo."

So king Spock pulled Mithos up and accepted the Rolo. Whe he finished he remembered something: he was lactose intolerate. While being carried to the hospital, he said to his servants, "Get Cockazeechapi to curse him to death..."

So the soldiers brought Mithos and freinds to Cokazeechapi's house.

"Helloooooo... I am Cockazeechapi, the witch doctor, Chapi for short." He listened to what the guard had to say.

"Curse death, eh? Alright. Mentos, was? Here, strap this on you arm."

"Oh boy," Mithos cheered. "Oh boy oh boy oh boy a power band!'

Chapi then pressed a button on his desk and the band electricuted the blonde.

"AAAAaaaAauUUUUuUghH..." You could year sizzling and occasional popping noises as the course of PAIN ended.

"H-hey! What was that for!"

"Eh, I pity da foo' who can't take a lil' shock!" Chapi revolted. "Now, ya got anything on ya?"

"Well, I've got some Winterfresh."

"Perfect..."

Chapi then procceeded to take the stick of gum and a pair of tweesers. He picked a flake of burnt skin from Mithos. The witch doctor dropped it into a cauldron, then put some ingredients in. After the liquid had turned a nasty shade of green, he started to say an incantation.

"Burger, burger, french fries and fish eyes. Atomic nukes and daisy dukes, behold!"

A bright light shone out of the cauldron. Chapi dropped the stick of Winterfresh into it and there was a small explosion. When the smoke cleared up, all that was left in the pewter cauldron was that stick of gum, except it was glowing.

"Now," the witch docter started to explain. "After when you are dead, if someone eats this stick of gum, they will be devoured from within, which I think is cool. And then, you will take control and walk this earth again."

"Yes!" Mithos was so joyous to this that he felt he could jump of a cliff, unlike how he felt like ten minutes ago.

"But! Your life will be short. The only way to keep living on is to eat as many sugary sweets as you can! This will bring chaos upon the land because kids will be so very sad, and it will drive adults crazy and awaken their homicidal side, OR make them commit suicide. Because they are old, most will die out before the kids survival goes poof bye-bye. But all the kids, and as they grow older all the generations after them, will curse you forever because then you will be the fattest person in history! It is eternal!"

While Yuan, Kratos, and Martel were grinning their heads off, Mithos put on an authentic autographed Darth Vader Helmet and shouted, "NOOOOOOOO!" As he drooped his head, the helm slid off onto the ground and shattered.  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOO, that cost 700 bucks!"

Now Mithos was mad. He used a M7OW-500 Bazooka on Chapi, blowing him up and sending all his remains into the stratosphere.

"Hey," Chapi's ghost oohed. "For that I'll make sure that someone eats the gum, as long as I'm dead! Now get the f--k out of my house!"

The guards threw all of them out toward the sky right there through the roof.

"LOOKS LIKE TEAM ROCKET'S BLASTING OFF AGAIN!"

And at the spot they would be before the crashed into the earth, there was a twinkle of light.

* * *

"So, that is the story of how Mithos returned," Yuan finished. 

"Yay! I loved that story!" Collete cheered. "But what does that have to do with him coming back?"

"Well, it's simple syllogism. There is the gum which came from Asgard, and his first attack, as I said sometime earlier though it was not mentioned in the story, his first attack was in Altimira which is closest to Asgard, so..."

"Sorry?"

Yuan sighed.

To Be Continued!


	4. Indoles Sage:Genesis!

Sorry people for no updates til now, but I got lazy... I split this chapter into two parts for the same reason. Now that I look at this, it's the shortest chapter yet. Only 809 words... hm... Thank you, people who like and review this. Part two still under construction, sorry. Read and review, yal.

Disclaimer: I do not own ToS.

Indoles Sage: Genisis!

TODAY, IN THE CITY OF LUIN!

Ignoring the PPG narrator, Genis was packing his stuff at the Pheonix Inn.

"Gosh goodness golly whoa willy gee whiz wilicers, this place sure is expensive."

And it was true. The cost for a place for both Genis and Raine to stay the night was 800 gald. It absorbed what was apparently a fifth of their funds, but they were to lazy to set up camp. At the moment, Genis was watching tv while packing, listening intently to what the newsman had to say.

"...the third Platimum Ticket was found yesterday by..."

"Ah! I don't want to know."

Genis was very scared of platimum. Of course, it was how he became Presea's boyfreind, through the magic of that and Lloyd, which shocked him very much. He could still remember it all like it was a week from yesterday...

* * *

Kratos was in the garage working on a device that would aid him fully in his desire to journey toward his home of Symphonia. Why he wanted to go there? Because he was going crazy. His decision had been had been the right one, and he could still remember those few moments of glory. He had just finished writing the Bill of Rights(Derris-Kharlan mix) and his fellow co-leader had come along to check it. He had come to the right to say "stained crotch" when he noticed Kratos was a little jumpy. 

_"So um... Jill and I are going to go see Logan's Run this Friday and I-sir? What's wrong,_" asked the fellow co-worker.

"_It's j-just that.._." sniffed Kratos.

"_What, sir?_"

And in the lowest voice he could without giving a whisper, he responded, "_I see wraiths._"

Melvin was bewildered.

"_They're everywhere,_" the madman continued. "_They walk around like normal people and they don't even know that they're wraiths. And some of them... THEY ARE HERE._" He then procceeded to zone out in the classic X-Files "The Truth is Out There" look.

"_Sir... you've clearly been watching to much Lord of the Rings._"

"_Mabye so, but I tell you they are real. They are after my ring... The one ring... TO RULE THEM ALL!_"

Now Melvin looked ticked and frightened at the same time.

"_You got that out of a cereal box._"

"_AH! LOOK! THERE'S ONE! It's been after THE WHOLE TIME!_"

"_Sir... that's just the Ninja Gaiden dude._"

"_Hi! I've been looking for you so we can do the normal routine, but everytime you freak out and run away urinating all over yourself..._"

"_Oh,_" Kratos said, relieved. "_Oh, in that case screw my plans-_" saying this he tossed aside a taser he had hidden under his sleeves which before said weapon was thrown out had been glowing "_-and lets go!_"

"_Um, sir, I think you need a vacation._"

And with an anime-glee look about him he said yes. So now he was working on his master transportation device, he realized something.

"Oh snap, I just remembered! I was supposed to add to that equasion..."

Furious, he chucked it into the airlock and pushed the button for open, and decided he would just add on to the technology already provided in his Caddillac to make things faster. His failed device would then wander aimlessly throughout space. Until it came crashing down on Symphonia. It entered the atmosphere at a high speed, causing flames to engulf it as it made it's speeding descent. Many people pointed toward the sky like it was the Olympus crashing down on Texas rather than the Discovery's returned to flight; it was both beautiful and frightening. Tension rose in the air as the flaming ball of what was really just metal came closer within contact of the ground.

5 miles away...4...2... and then it was only thousands of feet within landing. It crashed into the earth where the already destroyed Palmacosta rance had been, causing an earthshaking crater on impact that not only sent a dreadful shockwave which could be felt on a five-hundred mile radius, but for a whole second stopped the earth's rotation. The powerful shockwave was so powerful, that like the scars of an atomic bomb, it killed all passerby.

Many miles away, Lloyd, Collete, and Noishe who were closest to the scene, brought out the old Rheiards. With mana flourishing fully throughout the land, they set off at high speed to investigate what exactly had happened.

End Part 1


	5. Skysplitting Exodus!

5.Sky-splitting Exodus! 

Lloyd and Collete were silently riding the Rheiards to wherever they were going.

Or in other words, Ravebirds as Genis calls them, thought Lloyd. He's always making up crazy names for everything, like that time he called the Professor "Refill." He had that bump for a week! I tried cut it off with some scissors so I could put it in my Shrinky-Dink oven for him, but gave me the fish eye... Said some profanity yada yada yada...

"Um, Lloyd?"Collete said, interrupting Lloyd's thoughts. "Could you watch the sky road thing?"

"Wha? Oh, sorry Collete. Say, what are you doing?"

"I'm watching a Happy Tree Friends marathon! They are so cuuute!"

"But Collete, isn't that too violent for you?"

"Violent? But it's so cute I don't see anything wr- eeek! His eye popped out! A-and he killed the moose with a harpoon! This is so scary..."

"There, there, Collete..." said Lloyd as he comforted Collete.

Of course he couldn't drive at the same time so they crashed. Still, it didn't matter anyway because they were already there. After getting off the Rheiard they walked over to the crater.

"Look at this, Lloyd! It's some metal device!"

"Yeah, it looks like something from Best Buy flushed down the toilet by an angry customer. I don't see why, loads better than Wal-Mart, this is."

"Convieniently put. I'll call Genis!"

So the tiny ensy weensy angel took out her flip phone and dialed up Genis. After a not-so-lengthy call Genis came over in his blue Ferari.

"Yo, wassup! Check out the sweet ride."

"Genis! What happened to your Pinto?"

"I took up my savings and bought this from Meltokio and-"

"Let me guess. You geeked it out and MTV had to pimp your ride? I know this ain't your taste. I don't know how they did it seing how maxin' your ride is like putting diamonds on doodoo."

"...Waah! Lloyd, you big bully!"

Amidst the talk, Collete felt left out and decided to remind them why they were there. Genis inspected what looked like a steaming banana-looking pile of metal poop with buttons in it;out one end was what seemed to be the eyepiece of a telescope, while the other end a camera lens. The buttons were labeled with small Post-It notes with words drawn in crayon: teleport, go back, zoom in, zoom out, hold U/D, menu, on/off, and open/close. On the opposite side of the... device was a control pad.

Then, with a sudden burst of idea, Genis shouted, "Well, let's try it out!"

Genis looked through the eyepiece. Everything was a shade of green except for two red intercepting lines. Numbers on the bottom and right told the exact distance and perimeter. Using the control pad he moved the tracking cursor around, but before he could dwell deeper into the features of this device, everything suddenly went black.

Genis toppled over in surprise. "Ah!"

What's wrong, Genis?" asked the troubled Collete.

"I'm blind! What act have I done to lose my sight! Oh wait... No, the power just went out."

He pressed the open/close button to reveal the socket to put the batteries in.

"Just as I thought," said an embarrased and yet irritated Genis. "Generic batteries."

"So let's go get some brand name ones!"

And the three shouted, "All for one and one for all!" for no particular reason as they hopped into Genis' Ferari. While Lloyd and Genis were booming loud music in the front seats, Collete was sitting in the back seat watching her tv.

"Ooo comercials. I looove comercials."

* * *

The following PREVIEW has been approved for   
ALL AUDIENCES   
by the Motion Picture Association of Symphonia

Old Time Cinema  
presents

Shows 8 people climbing up a steep trail.

Black screen.

Shows a Tower of Lightning with lighting coming out of the top.

Black screen.

The Tower of Salvation is showing from an ariel view.

Black screen.

Dramatic music begins.

Volcanoes are shown.

"You were the Chosen One!"

Epic Battle scenes are displayed.

"Hey Lloyd," cried Genis. "Don't get your butt kicked! Indignation!"

"Ah, that reminds me of the good old days with dad..." Lloyd reminicinsed. "Hey, wait!"

BASED ON THE WORLD REGENERATION JOURNEY

A hooded figure in front of a forest at night talking to the group.

"It would would be wise not to mess with the Dark Lord," he told them in a cracky voice, drawing it's wand. " But you shall not worry, for your lives end tonight!"

A rooftop was shown, Raine had a gun, aiming it back and forth between two round-headed people that lokked exactly alike.

"I'm the real Kenny!"

"No, I'm the real Kenny!"

THIS FALL

A huge bog with a squirrel thing.

"I will get back what they took from me..."

Scene switches to Regal talking to Sheena who was protecting Corrine.

"He means to kill us!"

EVERY PATH

A huge boat where two people were doing the classic Titanic pose.

HAS A TEST

Presea and Zelos were back to back surrounded by enemies.

EVERY STEP

A town on a lake was burning.

"No..."

BRINGS YOU CLOSER

"I won't let it happen again."

TO WHAT BINDS US ALL

Dramatic music hits the action sequence

People were running from Rodyle.

You are all making me angry. You won't like me when I'm angry."

TOM CRUISE

Kratos was inside the Daily Bungalow.

"Red wire, blue wire, red wire, blue wire, AAAGH!"

GARY COLEMAN

Regal was in a white subway station trying to get out but he kept ending up in the same place.

"This is a bigger problem than Pamela Anderson's-"

MIRANDA OTTO

An army of 5,000 men were fighting with 600,000 undead, ghosts, hell knights, living armor, zombie warriors, angel warriors, Ygdrassial, 3 Seraphim, 5 Grand Cardinals, an Elite from the Underworld, and a ressurected Abbyson.

"I'm gonna need a bigger weapon." said Master Chief.

**TALES OF SYMPHONIA**

Kratos was in the hallway of some in-city apartments with a phone.

"Uh, yeah. Chinese take-out?"

The elevator door opened and a bunch of soy sauce came oozing out.

"Whoa, um, yeah? No need to bring little packets of soy sauce, and you might want to use the stairs."

COMING EVENTUALLY (mabye) PG13

* * *

"Collete, stop watching tv, we need to get some gas while were at it. Here's a twenty, get it for number...3, k'?" 

End Part 2


End file.
